An Evening with Oliver Burkeman

Today, we’re doing something a little different. Instead of unpacking a book, we’re giving you our reflections from an evening spent at an author event with one of our favourite self help voices - Oliver Burkeman.

Oliver Burkeman is a British journalist and author, well-known for his insightful explorations of psychology, productivity and the pursuit of happiness and meaning in modern life. He gained popularity through his weekly column in The Guardian, This Column Will Change Your Life, where he explored the self-help industry and the paradoxes of personal growth with a mixture of skepticism and empathy (at the event he disclosed that he thoroughly enjoyed writing this column because it allowed him to dive into, read and comment on self help books he otherwise would have been too embarrassed to 😅).

His skepticism and empathy, reflected in his quirky book titles The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking and HELP! How to Become Slightly Happier and Get a Bit More Done, is what we love about his work and what made us want to spend our Wednesday evening listening to him chatter - he’s a refreshing voice in the self help genre.

Broadly speaking, his work invites readers/listeners to adopt a gentler, more purposeful relationship with time, and to move away from obsessing over productivity and toward a more fulfilling and grounded approach to living. His voice is both challenging and comforting, making him a distinctive and influential figure in contemporary self-help and philosophical writing.

Here are five reflections from our evening with Oliver Burkeman - please note, these are our interpretations/reflections of the points discussed at the event and are in no way directly attributed to Burkeman.

🪞 On certainty…

There are only a few certainties in life - two of which are you will die, and as a human being who does not have the same qualities as Nostradamus, you have no reason to be completely confident in how the future will unfold. Whether you have realised it or not, you have lived your entire life in a place of uncertainty.

And yet, while this truth may make you feel a bit on edge, there is one other certainty that should help - that until this very moment, the ‘end of the world’ has never been the end of the world for you.

You have always had the innate abilities to deal with, and survive, whatever life has thrown your way.

🪞On control…

Understand that you have a limited scope of control - but much more control than you think.

Spend time stewing on social media or watching the news, feeling helpless and completely out of control with everything that’s going on in the world and you can become blind to the direct control/impact you have on your immediate surroundings. You can control your physical and digital environment which can control how you show up in the world.

Maybe you can’t directly help with the big issues (aside from giving money or time to an organisation that’s on the front line) but you can have an impact in your local community. Show up in the world how you wish others would - even if no-one else follows your lead, the world is still better for having this version of you in it.

🪞On patience…

In Burkeman’s most recent talk with Chris Williamson on his Modern Wisdom podcast, he jokes about how when you go to the office kitchen, the microwave always has seven seconds to go because that is the exact point at which someone just couldn’t wait any longer (yesterday I walked into my work kitchen twice and noticed 8s left on my first visit and 11s left on my second visit 😅).

The quicker things have become, the more we’ve lost patience - as our expectations rise, so do our frustrations. Things that were once acceptable, now fall short of the mark.

Burkeman has designed the book to be read one chapter per day, taking a total of 4 weeks to complete. In a world where we try to consume everything as quickly as possible, he invites the reader to sit with the discomfort of being patient and allow yourself to digest the knowledge/perspective shift given from the book and put it into practice.

🪞On artificial intelligence…

…and the efficiency trap.

We live in a world where we are constantly connected (minus the real connection), over worked and ‘too busy’. AI has the power to replace all our mundane tasks and free up time which could be incredibly beneficial for the vast majority and give us more leisure time to just be.

Burkeman argues that this, unfortunately, might not be the case, stating that we might find ourselves in what he calls the efficiency trap where the more we are able to process/do, the more the bar is raised - leading to a never ending cycle; no matter how much time you free up, there will always be something there to fill it straight away.

In the world of work, maybe it’s not humans vs AI…it’s humans vs our need for efficiency.

🪞On mortality…

You are going to die.

Embrace the significance of your insignificance. You’re just not that important in the grand scheme of life and this should be a liberating, rather than debilitating, realisation.

Just do the thing you want to do - write the book, save for/book the trip, enrol in the class - just start doing the thing.

Don’t put it off to some imaginary future. Start now.

Want to learn more? If you would like to buy one of Oliver Burkeman’s books and support us at the same time, you can shop at our affiliate links: Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, HELP!: How to Become Slightly Happier and Get a Bit More Done, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking and Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. When you buy through one of these links, we will receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support and for being part of our growing community. 📚️ 

We had high hopes when we bought our tickets for the event and it did not disappoint. Oliver Burkeman remains one of our favourite authors and voices of the self help genre - we find ourselves coming back to his work and ways of thinking time and time again.

We’re off to begin reading his latest book Meditation for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. We’ll be doing our best to practice patience and read just one chapter per day…look out for our key takeaways coming early January. 📚️ 

Until next time, stay thriving!

Beck
Team Thrive in Five